I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
