we made out on top of his cat.
She even gives head with a lisp.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
