Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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