Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize