take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
