Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
