You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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