So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
