If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Randomize
