I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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