No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
