We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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