I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize