I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
