i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The adults are the big ones right?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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