Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
