Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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