idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
