I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I need help removing her.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My vagina is officially offended.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
