Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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