Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
