i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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