Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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