i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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