Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
