Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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