I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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