okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
