Sacagawea was the original milf.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
