all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
