Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
