Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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