His pubic hair was longer than his dick
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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