he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
