Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
