i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
