Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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