Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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