She announced her abortion via fbk
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Did we literally take a cab across the street
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
