Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
