I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
