Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
