hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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