Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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