i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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