I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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