why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
