she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
