Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
as a side note pls kill me
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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