i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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