she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
