you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
