I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
