We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
