Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
