i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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