The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Rumble strips road head = magical
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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