i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
