idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
