would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I pour the whiskey from now on
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
