Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
