I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
